I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
