I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
