so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
