i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
