dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
