trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
