Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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