im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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