I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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