I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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