My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
