she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
