hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
