Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
