Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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