You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
