never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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