don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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