I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
