No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
