I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
