I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
3pm strippers are depressing
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
