He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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