He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
