Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We are all done wearing pants today
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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