I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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