i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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