We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we're so committed to being not committed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize