that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The uberlube is also flammable
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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