i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
