We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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