I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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