I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
