life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No I am not eating basil off your cock
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
