There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
