i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
