You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Randomize
