areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
