I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
