just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
