Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
