I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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