You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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