After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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