did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
