Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize