and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
