ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
