What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
