walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
