He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't deserve a penis
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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