My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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