I want you more than these girls want KFC
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just forgot I was standing up.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
