babies were throwing up all over the place
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
