there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
