They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just found a bag of teeth...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
